Resolutions.....going, going, GONE!

Resolution is my middle name. Love goals. Love New Year's Resolutions. As long as I can remember, on December 31, I grab my journal and scribble down my aspirations for the upcoming year. The thought of a blank page to start my year thrills and refreshes me.

Not this year.

Christmas was beautiful and packed with memories. However, my expectations for the week following Christmas included things like --
- Sleep In. (Didn't happen. My body has an early alarm clock.)
- Drink Coffee in bed. (Didn't happen since I was already up. See #1)
- Leisurely enjoy our days. (Broken arm, new tires, need I say more?)
- Enjoy the sites/sounds of the city. (Children's Hospital,Grismer Tire, & Costco don't count.)
- Somehow refresh and renew (not a realistic expectation when Babyboy has a broken arm and needs to potty 10 X per night = lack of sleep)

I complainingly crossed the starting Line of 2012 in rebellion. I didn't make my resolutions and couldn't stand to be around my own attitude. I was in denial that my year wasn't starting the way I wanted. Fresh. It felt old and tainted by 12:01 AM.

Hubby was out of town. Van wouldn't start. Homeschooling started. Appointments. I just wasn't in the mood to pretend I had a perfectly white, clean slate to start my year. I didn't have the opportunity to ease into the year. It started like the jolt of jumper cables. (PROUD of myself for using jumper cables on the van for the first time though.)

By January 2 or 3, I made a few last-minute, little-enthusiasm types of typical resolutions made my 99% of Americans. And, this is not my track record. I am someone who actually attains and sticks with my resolutions!
- Eat only whole foods for a week (Got into an off-brand snack mix filled with artificial colors and flavors by Tuesday night.)
- No sugar for one week (Nutella and animal crackers. Dangerous combo.)
- Mother with gentleness ("Get upstairs in your bed right now!!")
- Homeschool peacefully (This was the most challenging week of schooling ever.)
- Make one new recipe a week (Um. Last night I mixed two kinds of pasta in the macaroni and cheese. Does that count?)
- Continue the process of becoming like Christ (Wow, this is hard.)

I've been fighting 2012 since it began. But I realized today it perfectly fits with my final resolution above, even if it was half-hearted and habitual. God is continually pulling me out of my comfort, routine, goals, and "messing me up" in order to see more of Him. I can ONLY finish this year with Him. My own resolve will never bring victory or peace or true joy.

So, here it is six days into the year and I finally decided to run with it.

2012 wait for me......Here I come....better late than never!