Fear Factor

I kind of have a love/hate relationship with hosting/entertaining/cooking/baking. I like people. I especially like one on one meaningful conversations. I also like baking and cooking.

It's the combination of the two inside my home that brings on the icky feeling.

I like the idea of hosting guests with ease in my beautiful home and offering an assortment of strategically garnished dishes. Can you see me lingering at the table without a care in the world? (I can't either.) I don't like it so much when the IDEA turns into an INVITATION.

I envy those women who can casually put out a spread and host on a moments notice and ENJOY it. I need time. I devour cookbooks and check out recipe ratings. I clean my house like there is a For Sale sign out front.

Even then I feel naked when I open the door. My tried and true "entertaining" dishes betray me and turn out Fear Factor-ish. They look ugly and taste not-quite-right. I notice the imperfections in my home. My home doesn't reflect me like I want it to.

When it is just me and my hubby, Oldest, Middleson, and BabyBoy, I bake and cook like a mad woman -- almost everything from scratch. We eat well. We eat together. We ENJOY! My house is tidy and organized and we are content.

Content until....

Content until I invite someone over because I want to host. Because the Bible tells me to be hospitable. Because I want to come face to face with one of my weaknesses. Because it is an area that is not a strongsuit, but I am willing to improve.

I am hoping to fall in love. So far it hasn't happened. I need lessons or something. Hosting Lessons. Cooking for Real People Outside of Your Family Lessons. Stay Relaxed Lessons. You Don't Have to Be Perfect Lessons.

Sometimes it is just easier to stay home and watch Fear Factor. I'm too stubborn to do that. Practice makes closer-to-perfect.

Anyone up for coming to the BoysTurf for dinner?